Holy Spirit, Gift of God

Fake Tragedy

Its mind boggling really.

Ive come to the conclusion that...
Well, the only conclusion Ive come to is that: I have feelings, but something inside me is not letting me rip them out of myself, share them with other people and actually express my feelings full on.

Im at the stage where I would give anything to dig my hand in myself, rip the 'feelings' section out of my heart and shove it under the nose of the first person I see.

Everytime Ive cried or laughed, I just feel fake. And I wanna do it over and over, until it feels right.

I haven't been able to express anything on my blog, to people, or in my diary. - Now that's just wrong! Those are all things I used to feel I could rely on when needing them. But now...theres nothing.

My mind won't let me go, but my heart is struggling to find a way out of this cage.

This is most likely to be the answer why my posts haven't been that rip-roaring recently. And you people saying 'update, update' it doesn't really help because Im always trynna make the best posts I possibly can and trynna spare you the boring ones - but you asked for them...so there you go.

Theres even a little thing nudging at the back of my brain, that maybe Ive been trying to be too creative and that has over-run my feelings.

If you know me well, Im no good drawer so it can't be that.

I enjoy writing poems and Ive written a couple of songs - but thats only just got a favourite recently.

Maybe these are the only ways to express my feelings. Sucks.

Miss you guys heaps.

posted by MissHarwood @ 09:50 12 Comments

Just Between Us

OK, OK. I've heard it in Sunday school and in youth group: My friends who don't know Christ are going to hell. I've been hearing that for years. But is hell really that bad?

Good Question. What do you think?

Well...I'll just tell you what I've heard, OK?

OK

I've heard some people say that hell will be whatever makes you the most miserable.

Hmmm. So if doing homework really ticks you off, hell will be eternal homework?

Yeah, I guess.

That's punishment all right, but do you really think someone like, oh, I don't know, let's say Hitler - who was responsible for millions of deaths and human torture - will be sitting aroundfor eternity writing book reports?

When you put it that way, it sounds kinda lame.

Yeah, and hell is not lame. It's beyond our imagination, It's a place we wanna make sure we stay away from.

Well, I've also heard that someday Jesus will take all the christians to heaven, and everyone else will be left here on Earthand that will be hell because there will be no love or kindness.

Yeah, that'd be pretty bad. But hell is more than simply a void of love and kindness.

So...just how bad is it?

The only way we can answer those questions is to take a peek at what Jesus said about hell. He gives a pretty graphic description. In fact, every time He mentions hell, He describes it as eternal seperation from Him and a place of great torment and agony. He tells us it's an actual place.

Yuck.

Yeah, double yuck. Grab your bible. Ok? Tell me what you think of this picture of hell:
There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried.
In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham dar away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, "Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire."
But Abraham replied, "Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us."
He answered, "Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment."
Abraham replied, "They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them."
"No, father Abraham," he said, "but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent."
He said to him, "If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead" (Luke 16:19-31)

Pretty plain, huh?

Yeah, I don't like that.

Good. You shouldn't like it. Hell is not going to be a big party.

But I hear my non-Christian friends joke and say they're going to hell together. They laugh about all the stuff they're gonna do with no one to stop them.

The truth is, it will be tremendously painful to burn forever in flames of fire that can't be extinguished and to never have relief - it's not going to be fun and games!

Wow. That sounds so strong.

Yeah, it does. But every single time Jesus talks about hell, He uses strong language to describe it.

Guess that's because He wants to make sure we stay away from it,huh?

Yep.

So if hell is so bad, and if God loves us so much, why would He send any of us to spend forever in such a horrific place?

He doesn't.

What?

God doesn't send anyone to hell. Anyone who goes to hell goes on his or her own accord.

I'm not following you.

God could force you to follow Him. He could make you repent of your sins and ask Him to be your Lord. But if you did that, you wouldn't have free will.

Right. I'd be a puppet manipulated by a controlling God.

Exactly, God doesn't work that way. He loves you so much that He gives you free will. He allows you to make your own decision as to whether you'll follow Him.

And if I choose to follow Christ, repent of my sins and commit my life to Him, I'll spend eternity in heaven with God!

Right. But those who refuse to follow Christ are choosing to spend eternity in hell. The Bible is very ckear that there's only one way to heaven - and that's through a relationship with Jesus Christ. (See John 14:6) And He wants so badly for you to spend forever with Him that He even paid the death penalty for your sins.

Hearing it put so simply, it sounds more than fair.

It is! God didn't have to send His only Son to die for our sins, but He did simply because He loves us and wants us in heaven with Him.

OK. I get that part. But there's something else bugging me. I hear the word hell a lot. I mean, students at school toss it around so casually. Is that right?

Nope. They're using it as a cuss word. They've reduced an actual place to a mere slang term. And you're right, it's a word we hear often - on TV, in the hallways, at work - but again, remember the truth: Hell is not simply an expression people use when they're angry; it's an actual place where people who don't know Christ will spend eternity.

Whew! That's heavy-duty.

Yeah. Hell if heavy. It's not a laughing matter. Know what else is heavy?

What?

Millions around ud are spiritually dead. They're searching for answers, for truth and for peace. We have the answers. We know the Truth when we know Christ. They're headed for hell, and it's up to us to point them in the right direction.

I usually don't think about it that seriously. I mean, I know students in my school who aren't Christians, but it's usually pretty easy to just shrug it off. After all, if they wanna party and mess around, I can't stop 'em.

Yeah, but see, the reason they're partying and messing around is because they're seriously searching for some answers, for peace, for joy.

Think they even realise they're searching for something?

Probably not. But it's obvious, isn't it?

Yep.

And the heavy part is, we have the answers. We can make a positive difference in their lives. We can help point them in the right direction!

Yeah, I want to; I'm just scared. (But don't tell anyone I said that!)

Hey, this is just between you and me, OK?

OK. Good.

It's OK to be scared.

It is?

Sure! That's normal.

Whew! Feels good to be normal.

Probably everyone's a little nervous when it comes to talking about their faith because a relationship with Christ is a personal thing. It's important to us. Sometimes it's kind of hard to put into words.

Yeah! That's exactly how I feel. And besides, I never know what to say.

You're on the right track.

Huh?

You've got a Bible - right?

Yeah, but...

The more you study the life of Christ and apply his words to your life, the easier it will become to share your beliefs with others.

Hmmm.

Ket's take it a step further. How many of your friends know you love chocolate?

All of 'em!

And Third Day?

Are you kidding? Practically the whole world knows I'm their greatest fan.

And how do your friends know?

I've told them.

Get it? The more you fall in love with Jesus, the more you'll want to tell others about Him.

I think I understand.

I think you're gonna like this journey.

I think I am too.

posted by MissHarwood @ 17:08 4 Comments

Christmas

Man...Christmas.

what's it really all about? Ah...wheres this post going? Yeah, well, its how I feel at the moment, so something something something to you if you don't like it!

I was having a conversation with a friend the other night and he was saying 'cmon...get into the christmas spirit, you'll have fun; presents, food, it'll be great'. Man, that made it even worse!

Christmas isn't about stuffing your faces with food, or getting the most presents, or having the most lights on your house. Grow up and see the reality of it!

Its about spending time with the people you love the most, making memories with family and even friends, but most of all; to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

I love it when on Christmas eve just me and my family, having a cheese fondue, some prawns cocktails and just some chill out family time.
I love it when I see my nan smile when she sees me or Ben smile at putting Christmas presents under the christmas tree.
I love it when Chester gets fixsated on the sausages my dad cooks every Christmas morning.
I love it when on christmas morning we have 'family prayer time' - 'FPT' and we pray for other people, and not for ourselves and that we get the right presents.

I love all this stuff. I really wouldn't mind if I didn't get presents, I wouldn't mind if we didn't have lights outside our house (which we don't this year!), I really wouldn't mind if I didn't have an advent calendar to count down the days.

All I want for Christmas is to be with the people with the ones I love. And if I can't be with you in person...I'll be with you in spirit.

So, just to leave you all with a gift parting:
Don't get glued onto what everyone else thinks christmas is - presents, food, money, lights.
Get glued onto what everyone else isn't thinking christmas is.

Merry Christmas and to all, a good night
xx

posted by MissHarwood @ 22:15 5 Comments

My Blogging Blogged mind

Yes, well don't expect too many updates on this ol' thing too soon. I have a blogging blogged mind at the moment.

Just trynna get over the fact that some of my closest friends have gone, Im ill and it just doesn't feel like christmas at the moment, so my mind is all over the place. But no matter how long I spend thinking about stuff to myself, nothing ever comes clear.

Well, Yeah. This is gonna be a short post as I don't have much to write. But I wanna wish you all a Merry Christmas.

And heres a little song I shall sing for you all:

I wish you a Merry Christmas
I wish you a Merry Christmas
I wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy new year

Yeah, so all have a good christmas where ever you are and keep in touch.

Blessings to y'all always

Miss Harwood
xx

posted by MissHarwood @ 18:35 1 Comments

I am

I found this post on Mandy's blog and I thought it was so cool because its so positive and some people might need to hear it...

I am a Believer, not a Doubter.
I am a Winner, not a Loser.
I am a Victor, not a Victim.
I am Above, not Beneath.
I am a Conqueror, not a Quitter.
I am a Visionary, not a Virus.
I am a Leader, not a Loner.
I am a Persister, not a Pusher.
I am a Developer, not a Divider.
I am a Producer, not a Problem.
I am a Success, not a Failure.
I am Expanding, not Diminishing.
I will Live and not Die.
I am a child of God, not a Critic.

posted by MissHarwood @ 10:57 5 Comments

Memories are the all important

Everynight, I take my curtain thing away from my window, turn my light off and sit at my window-cile. Thinking. I could sit there for hours. Sometimes I do.

Just really relaxes me and gives me time to think and watch the stars. Sometimes I end up smiling, most of the time crying. But its all to do with memories. Memories have become real important to me recently.

But everynight, I have listened to this song at least twice and listening to it has always made me cry.

Middle of nowhere
Finally you can breathe
Nobody knows your name
It's easier

Shut your eyes tightly
Clench your fists 'til they almost bleed
Cautiously, lightly
Gently expose what's underneath

And all you feel now
Is the scarlet in your day
Even it's real
You can't stay...


So there you go
You're gone for good
There you go
You're gone for good


Your mind is swollen
From months of thought without release
They've taken their toll on you

This very moment
Of timid and fragile honesty
Is precious and rare and fleeting

And all you feel now
Is the scarlet in your day
Even it's real
You can't stay...


Man, that Brooke Fraser really does know how to write deep songs, and so many on her album I can relate to!

so their's your update Serena.

xx

posted by MissHarwood @ 21:38 4 Comments

Once again, my heart welcomes you

I feel its time for me to give a update. But one thats interesting - or so I hope.

Loads of thoughts are going through my head at the moment. They're all so muddled up, they've merged together I can't make sense of some. Am I hurt, confused? Happy, understanding?

You think you really know someone, but everyone can keeps secrets. So what are they not telling you? Their pain is so deep they can't control it. All that is needed is a brave face - and you think they're okay. They pull on a front that fools everyone. It even manages to fool their closest friends. Deep pain.

I know a feeling that is just awesome there is nothing that can seem bad when that feeling has arrived. And all I need is a few minutes of that feeling, and Im off - happy as larry. You've felt that touch before my friend, you know the comfort, the love, it cleanses your heart, so why don't you want it? You know deep down its what helps. It holds you tight when you hurt, upset, shameful. Be big, brave and bold...ask for that comfort once again. You know it helps, don't avoid it...take advantage of it. please.

When I see people hurting, I feel for them. Its like I can feel their pain. Maybe Ive never been in their situation, but I can see it, I can see their hurt and what its causing them to do. To themselves and to others. I just want to hug them and hold them and let them know everything will be okay. But everytime I try, I get pushed away.

You're wanting to keep it bottled up inside, let no-one know. But you can't go on for much longer. You're hurting.



Something that really gets to me, is that in this day n age, the world is so engrossed in sex and boyfriends/girlfriends and 'finding the one' etc. that people are just so obsessed with it! If you see your friend Jamie walking round town with her friend Tim, then your brain automatically triggers the thought 'oooh, Jamie's with a guy...who is he?...They going out?' I know you can't help thinking it - heck I do! But man, its so dumb. But as loads of people agree, its so much easier to get along with the opposite sex. It just is, its a well known fact. officially made by missharwood copyright
















A couple of days ago a friend said to me about another friend 'Yeah, she's someone who won't let any friends go'. I must say, I was up most pleased to here this friend say it about another friend of mine. It really boosted my confidence in her! So go her! And it made me think, I wanna be a friend who won't let my friends go. But at the same time, I don't want to be a clingy friend, because they are the worst!

Its hard when you loose closeness with a good friend, but as ive realised recently...just keep building the friendship back up. And it works! Yup, friends do rule. I'd be no where without them!



Recently Ive had people say to me so much 'make the most of it while you have it'. And everytime I heard that I always thought I can't because...I can't, but maybe I shouldn't be thinking about how I want more and more each time, but just be greatful with the time I do have. Because every moment counts. Each memorie priceless. Memories to hold on for life.

And you might think that some of the 'memories' are regrets. But nope, nu ah. I have no regrets this year. Or any year really. All my mistakes are mistakes that I can look over, learn from and move on in a stronger person which these mistakes have made me.

Theres heaps of stuff Ive wanted to rip out of my diary and throw away because it was a huge mistake, but a wise old owl told me 'no, leave them in because then you can look back on your mistakes and learn from them'. So thank you wise old owl...thats what Ive been doing, and its been so much help.



Won't you come to me

to the cross

I paid the price for you

shared my blood

It was for you that I bled and died

I gave the ultimate sacrifice

posted by MissHarwood @ 21:31 2 Comments

Thank You Lord

Your with me while I write in my journal.
Your with me while I cry with my journal.
Your with me while I laugh with my journal.
Your with me while I talk to my journal.

You know what Im going to write,
before I do.
You know what Im going to think,
before I do.
You know what Im going to sing,
before I do.

Your with me as I close this journal.
As I end my first chapter.
As I say goodbye to a old friend.

You know what Im going to hum,
before I do.
You know how Im going to dance,
before I do.
You know what Im going to sing,
before I do.

Your with me as I open this new journal.
As I start my new chapter.
As I say hello to a new friend.

You know what Im going to write,
before I do.
You know what Im going to think,
before I do.
You know what Im going to sing,
before I do.

I realise each day,
Your's is the only way.

The one to comfort me,
and give me strength.
To give me an answer,
when I Question.
To hug me,
when I cry.
To give me strength,
when Im weak.
To show me the path,
when I come off track.

Your hands is always on my life.
Thank you Lord.
For my whole future, you have planned.
Thank you Lord.
For every temptation, you've set a way free.
Thank you Lord.
For everything in my life, brings me closer to you.
Thank you Lord.

Through the weak,
you are strong.
Through the poor,
you are rich.
Through the pain,
you are the healer.
Through the adandonment,
you are the comforter.

Thank you Lord.

posted by MissHarwood @ 14:46 1 Comments

Lean on God

I hate jelousy. Its a feeling that makes me kinda sick in the gutt. Sick in the gutt. But its a feeling I don't want ANYONE to feel, because it just sucks. Sucks. Its a feeling that I think belongs in underground tunnels, in the darkness where no-one can catch it.

Jelousy gets the best of us all and can even make us paranoid - about other people and ourselves. So its not good. Not good at all. I hate the fact that it makes yourself feel utter crap. utter crap. But then the only thing you can do to make it go away is the 'face your fears' action (hit the problem head on).

But sometimes thats the hardest thing...hitting things head on. But as we all know, we have to take things in our stride and know life isn't easy. Life isn't easy.

Stuffs gonna be extremely hard to handle in the future for me I know, definitly in the near future, but its something Ive gotta take in my stride and lean on God with. Lean on God.

So all I can do now, is lean on God with my pain, jelousy, hurt. pain, jelousy, hurt. But Im also gonna celebrate my happiness, my love and my future. my happiness, my love, my future.

posted by MissHarwood @ 22:03 5 Comments