She's broken
She's broken.
Doesn't move.
It hurts too much.
Confusion is nothing new to her.
It's been too long.
But she still remembers.
Everything.
She tries.
But she sees no point.
She thinks he still cares.
But she knows she's wrong.
She gains hope.
Constantly.
But it's all false.
She's come to truth.
But it still hurts.
Darkness has turned to grey.
Watching through windows.
She's wondering if he's okay.
Soft music is all her heart can say.
She's floating down a river.
And marvles at the stars.
Feels her heart over-flow.
There's a place.
Staying up all night.
But now.
She's on her own.
Watching the sun set.
To the stars.
Wondering.
Praying.
Crying.
Reminiscing.
Wispering.
If I could find you now.Things would get better.Talking to the stars.
Her home.
Her only comfort.
Her awe.
She's his fool.
She gave her all.
But was abused.
Touched softly.
Then
stop.She asks why it is this way.
That's ever her only question.
Why?Why can't I move.
Why can't I feel.
Why can't I be honest.
Why am I ignored.
Why is my life like this.
Why?She just wants someone.
Like him.
But knows no-one.
Will ever match.
She couldn't sleep.
Thoughts of them together.
Her life is so much harder.
She wishes on stars.
For him to change.
She can't deny her feelings.
She can't hide them.
So she hides herself.
She still looks to him.
In all she does.
It's been years.
But she knows.
It's still true.
All the photos.
All the videos.
All the songs.
All the poems.
All their memories.
Destroyed.
By one man.
All her life.Destroyed by one man.
Oooooh yeah, They are in love
Me and
Nick wrote a song tonight and we want to share it!
They were walking through the park
Hand in hand
Walking through the park
Heart in heart
Walking through the park
Dream in dream
Nothing needn't be said
They are truely in love
There they are
Happy as can be
No-one else in the world
Cept those two care-free
There they were lying in the stars
Arm in arm
Lying in the stars
Sight in sight
Lying in the stars
Love in love
Nothing needn't be said
They are truely in love
There they are
Happy as can be
No-one else in the world
Cept those two care-free
Ooooooooooooh yeah, they are in love (repeat)
Love ya lil' bro!
Hardest things in life
One thing I've been struggling with recently is my looks. It's been such a pressure at this moment in life - seems like it's something compulsory in teen years. Why is it?
I have been talking to very few people about this problem...as it's a real inner self harming issue for me. So this is a huuuuuuuge step to blog about, but I know theres others out there deep down hurting and maybe even hating themselves. So to help you, I'm having to open up my entire heart to the voices of people I do not know. - Which is actually a scary thought. But this is what one friend said, that I had to think about...
Drives me nuts when beauties as you or her have such a low self esteem
but that's what some people say to me, and it 's somehow difficult to believe, probably because Satan knows how dangerous we become if we know how good , beautiful we are. So he does everything to keep us low. So we don't stand tall in some situations. We just have to pray against these seeds in our minds.
You are Jesus Sister!! - God bless my friendxx
What no sane individual would consider to be beautiful has become our worlds desires. Many men and women cannot even sit down because of the immense pain they have from what their buttocks used to be. However, due to the lifestyles and cultures of today, many men and women are still persuing this lifestyle of living their life trying to be thinner and thinner everyday, loosing more and more weight and trying to persure 'beauty'.
A living skeleton.
An anorexic person has a distorted perception of what his/her body actually looks like. He/she may lose a little weight from a normal diet, gain positive attention from people around him/her, and then become obsessed with losing more and more weight. But no matter how thin he/she gets, he/she still sees his/her body as unacceptable and unattractive.I did some research on the web and got two stories that I want y'all to read. I had to do a Drama portfolio on eating disorders. And it was not the nicest project I've had over the years. But it did open up my eyes and make me more sensitive. Being in an all girls school, of course rumours go round. Not huge ones, but still, you learn alot about people and insecurities and the pressure of life. I'd think it was crazy for the beautiful, popular and awesome girls to think less of themselves. For them to think they're were 'too fat' or 'too ugly'. Everyone would have a 'perfect' girl that was walking around those corridors and would try to be like that girl. Have the same hair styles, have the same curves, the same body weight. It's an impossible concept to acquire.
As I said before, I struggled with my looks...and I still do, but I've overcome my 'insecurities' more now. I've been reading a book recently by
Joyce Meyers called
Battle Of The Mind. When I first got this book, I thought
This can't help me change my mind, and stop certain thoughts and beat the battle. But I was totally wrong. It has. It's an amazing book and I really recommend it.
But anyway, back to my point. Anorexia is really not needed. You're beautiful in your own way. And if someone can't see that, then what does it matter about then anyway? I know I'm not living for other people. Why should I be pleasing them with my looks? Yeah it's nice to look nice, but to hate yourself because of them? Who are you living for?
I haven't been anorexic or bulimic, but I have had strong thoughts about these. But I've been to scared to hurt myself in anyway. I've opened myself up to the whole wide world, and so I just wanna encourage anyone who wants help. To email me or something. Even anonymously if I know you and you don't wanna own up. Please. I don't wanna have the thought of people thinking any less of themselves when you're all beautiful people. Female and Male.
You're more than your body.
Grow!
Instead of revising today, I was looking through myspace and all the nobs and stones you can have for yo profile and I came across this little thing:
and it made me think it's so true.
Yeah this is gonna be a cheesy post. Cmon...hit me with your best insults anonymous!
But yeah, quite a bit of stuff recently has got me thinking, and deeply. About my life. Ever since MayCamp I've been thinking more about every decision I make. Even little stuff like should I bye dinner out...or save my money and put it towards my car fund? What's happened to me?!?!
I've grown I guess. And I'm glad I have. I still am. I've got such a long way to go yet. I'm still his little daughter that cries sitting in his arms, that still stumbles when taking first steps when reading his word. He's still touching me day by day. And I'm loving it.
I'm growing. ... I'm growing.
No matter whats going on in your life...whether it's work, friends, relationships, exams, deaths, failure...make the best of it. Learn from mistakes, take hold of how precious life is, Give it your all, don't get caught up in 'lust' when you think it's 'love', strengthen one another...we don't have long, achieve your highest. Grow and learn from every experience possible.
All I can say is...
No matter whats happening, give everything your all. Things in this world won't last long at all. I can promise you that. Someone was once doing a talk in our youth meeting and he said that to God 1 day is 1000 years. - 2 Peter
Its just another day
Ive seen it all before
But today i wont take it for granted anymore
Its nothing new But im seeing clearly now
From a different view
Suprise, Suprise its right before my eyes
Sunrise, Sunrise it makes me feel alive
Stupid elephant.
What I want
There's a place off Ocean Avenue
Where I used to sit and talk with you
We were both 16 and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night
There's a place on the corner of Cherry Street
We would walk on the beach in our bare feet
We were both 18 and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night
If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away
There's a piece of you that's here with me
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by
I can make believe that you're here tonight
That you're here tonight
If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away
I remember the look in your eyes
When I told you that this was goodbye
You were begging me not tonight
Not here, not now
We're looking up at the same night sky
And keep pretending the sun will not rise
Be together for one more night
Somewhere, somehow
If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away
What I want.
