How much do I let the fear take the wheel and steer?
I thought I was doing okay. I feel like I am at points in my life. But things grab my attention. Deep conversations, and it's no good for me. I become weak once again. Break down and call for my daddy. And he hears me. Comforts me, and tells me to be patient...and I try, but it's just so hard.
Am I suppose to hurt like this with little stories? That not even I've made up? All these possibilites, but it's not the best thing. And I know it, but I long for them to be true. Is it a good idea to think of that? I'm going to have to somewhen. Why not get all the pain started now and have it out of the way?
I'm just so impatient when it comes down to it. I want everything right here, right now. But I know that it will be worth the wait. Through my trials and tribulations...only you can make it worth it.
He's promised me you and I can't wait to meet you. I wanna live out my dreams with you. I wanna build a life with you. And I get the chance to! And no-one else does. I'm so lucky.
All I have to say, is I want you now, but I know that I will meet you when I need you.
xx
Mustion
Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog.Will I get far in life?Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
How do my friends see me?Take It All - Hillsong United
Where will I get married?New Skin - Incubus
What is my best friend’s theme song?Beautiful One - Tim Hughes
What is the story of my life?A Green Desire - Dead Poetic
What was high school like?Mindfight - Toby Cooke
How can I get ahead in life?If You Want Love - Black Eyed Peas
What is the best thing about me?When The Tears Fall - Tim Hughes
How is today going to be?Beauty Of Your Peace - Tim Hughes
What is in store for this weekend?Innocence Again - Switchfoot
What song describes my parents?Wade In The Water - Mary Mary
My grandparents?Make Me More Like Jesus - Dwell
How is my life going?Sovereign Hands - Hillsong United
What song will they play at my funeral?Tru Dog - Toby Mac
How does the world see me?Lonely Nation - Switchfoot
Will I have a happy life?All Day - Hillsong United
What do my friends really think of me?Track 15 on a CD someone gave me...but I wasn't given any song names or artists!
Do people secretly lust after me?Daisy - Switchfoot
How can I make myself happy?Beautiful Love - The Afters
What should I do with my life?The Setting Sun - Switchfoot
Will I ever have children?Somebody Told Me - The Killers
What is some good advice?Don't Be A Stranger - Dina Carroll
What is my signature dancing song?Atmosphere - Toby Mac
What do I think my current theme song is?Midnight Show - The Killers
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?Fall On Me - Kat Regester
What type of men/women do you like?Adding To The Noise - Switchfoot
Should there be more of these around?Scooby Snacks - Sublime
And that's how it goes.
Don't Know
You don't know...
That I have a evil laugh when I'm laughing uncontrolably.
How Im completely insecure with myself - even though in God's eyes, I know I'm beautiful.
How much I laugh at myself.
I don't know...
How much to me there is.
Whats up with me recently.
Where to turn next.
They don't know...
What's going on around them.
The truth.
How much I struggle.
She doesn't know...How beautiful I think she is.
How much of a star she is.
That I think she is so cool.
He doesn't know...How much I value his friendship.
How much I miss him.
That I smile when I hear is name.
We don't know...Why everyone turns to the easiest solution.
Where they are at.
How much they know themselves deep down.
Tray Head!
Ahahaha.
Happy Easter to all.
No Stanley...no...NO!
It's alright Jamima...It's alright.
I've eaten so much tonight. Dunno how I'm gonna manage going swimming tomorrow. Probably just end up sinking...or floating...hmmm...not sure which one. I think the food's gone to my head...possibly...maybe...no, it can't have...can't of?...can't have...yes, that's correct Sherley.
I was thinking...it must be so cool to be pregnant...you can eat like an elephant - literally - and not get discusted looks. It's not fair! Oh, and of course the whole fact of having someone growing inside of you...having to choose their name and all that bla bla bla...
I've sat here, on this low, broken chair, infront of a VDU with speakers blairing out music for the last 4 ish hours. And I've been bored stiff. Except when talking to people and playing games. But that's no answer.
It's the holidays. It shouldn't be this boring. Or should it? With the amount of revision I
should be doing...mmm. I'll come back to that one. (Or maybe not).
Stop biting your nails Missharwood! You're not hungry, dya hear me? not hungry.Sorry Michaela. :(. *Sits in corner*
Don't even think about doing it while you're in the corner...I see you.*Starts to cry*
As your punishment, you have to watch a documentary on Demons.But, I did that last night Michaela.
Oh, okay...no punishment then. You've done your time.
And all because of the nails.
Who is to tell what is actually a song? I've written a couple...and I think,
they don't look anything like other songs I know...so it must be crap or not even a song. Maybe I'm a wanna-be song writer. (Aren't we all?) But who is to say what is a song? And if no-one sees my songs or hears them...then all the merrier...then no-one will be able to even tell me yes or no. Good...glad that's sorted.
To go to bed...or stay online is the question.
Or is it?...
My Hug For You
My Precious Father,
You are not alone.
I feel your pain
As I am there too.
Just know that deep down,
There is love,
And there is care.
It wouldn't work without you being so strong,
So just keep on.
Even though your heart's breaking,
Still see the smile on your face.
There is hope yet,
You've just gotta be patient.
I hate seeing you hurting,
So here is my hug for you.
Love you Daddy.
Think you lil' bugger you...think!
I love just staying up thinking.
I could stay up all night. Literally. I could.
I wanna stay up and go watch the sunrise in the park. But I should really go to bed.
But why? So I can dream happy dreams and then wake up into reality? Not the fun-est of things.
The thing I do that gets me thinking the most, is when I'm walking. Whether it's a 20 minute walk from town back to my house, taking Chester for a walk or just going out for a walk and going wherever the path takes me. It's so unbelievably good to get out of the house, get some fresh air and think.
And I'm not the slightest bit tired. I can't recall the last time I yawned tonight. Probably when I took Chester out about 5 hours ago. Mmm, it's strange the things you do past your 'bed time'.
Yeah...gonna go read some book now! No...of course no sleep!!
Single - by Amanda Knight
When I was a child, my favourite movie was Cinderella. I dreamed of wearing the beautiful gown and being picked up in a gold carriage by Prince Charming. How wonderful to be sought after and valued by a dashing prince!
Today, I still wonder what it might be like to be Cinderella. As many of my friends pair off and walk down the aisle, I wonder when my turn will come. Sometimes I can't help but ask, "Lord, is my carriage coming?"
The Lord faithfully reminds me that His plans are always right on time. My carriage is not late; rather, God has another purpose for this time in my life. Take a peek at Psalm 37:7, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."
God's purpose for all His children - married or single - is to wait on Him, cultivate our talents and gifts, and serve others. When we trust His plans, we can enjoy our single years to the fullest and build an intimate relationship with the King of the universe.
God wants to teach us to wait on Him. My mom used to tell me that so much of life is, "Hurry up and wait." I have to wait to finish school. Wait to start my career. Wait to meet my mate. Currently, I have a year left of college, and I'm praying for a new job during this time. It seems as though every time I pray, the Lord says "Be content where you are. Wait on me."
I am content...for a few days, then I begin to doubt. "Wait," the Lord says again. Like me, do you struggle waiting? Do you wonder why our Father doesn't give us things according to our timetable? Truthfully, our heavenly Father doesn't act according to our immediate desires because He's trying to teach us something and because He knows the best time.
Recently, God led me to Psalm 91. The whole chapter tells of the blessings of trusting and waiting on the Lord. The first verse says, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."
The picture is this: If we're walking with the Lord through prayer, Bible study and fellowship, then we're dwelling in Him. As we spend time with Him, we learn to rest and trust Him. God is using our single years to make us more like Him.
God wants us to explore our talents and gifts. He has given each of us unique abilities, and our single years are a perfect time to explore them. Has God given you a love for cooking, painting or music? Use this time to explore these gifts! Take a cooking class in your area. Learn to make jewellery or paint. Take instrumental or voice lessons. As your talents develop, God can use these things to guide your future and to bless others.
When I was in junior high and high school, I began taking voice and piano lessons and competed in speech meets. At the time, these things were just hobbies. However, God had more in mind, and I'm now majoring in music and communications in college.
God wants you to use our time serving others. The ultimate purpose for exploring our gifts and talents is to serve others. Check out Romans 12:6, "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us."
Our single years are an unparaleled time to spend serving others. For many of us, we have fewer commitments now than we'll have for the rest of our lives. Go on a mission trip. Serve the elderly. Work with young children. The possibilties for service are endless.
God wants to use you. He has someone He wants you to bless in His name, so begin praying about where God can use you. He wants to use you in unexpected ways.
God doesn't give us single years so we can pass the time dreaming about Prince Charming. He gives us this special time so we can learn to be satisfied in the King of Kings. As we grow to know Him more, He molds us into beautiful children of his grace. Enjoy this time.
My dad once said, "God wants to bless you more than you could ever want to be blessed." Don't sit around waiting for your carriage. Be adventurous, have fun and use this time to reach your full potential in Christ.
It's your daughter here
I thought I didn't need you. I thought I'd have my friend...and I'd be okay. I knew what everyone else would say - but I thought they were wrong.
But I do need you. Like mad. I want you as my friend. I want people to be able to be proud of me, to encourage me...not to be disappointed in me.
Please give me strength, love, compassion. I wanna be in your joyful love everyday. I wanna have such a beautiful happiness that it'll catch on to other people.
Use me Lord, in ways I could never imagine, in ways I could never understand. I want to be as bright and bold as the sun on a beautiful hot summers day.
I want my life to be different. I wanna stand out. I want you.
'Cos if I add,
If I subtract
If I give it all,
Try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So you are the one
I want
Please hear my prayer
