Don't think too hard, it'll hurt.
The last couple of days Ive been thinking too hard - about my past, present and future - and getting really angry with myself.Getting angry and taking it out on myself, every night over stupid mistakes I made in the past. Getting annoyed over stuff I can't have now, that I want. Getting upset/depressed over stuff I want in the future, but know I can't have.
Ive been doing some real depressive writing everynight for the last week or so. Ive thought of ways to solve my sadness: my way - writing, expressing my feelings. God's way - Talking to him, praying, reading the bible. Others ways - Self-harming, Taking it out on myself. But no matter what I do, I feel even worse at the end. People say I should hang out with them, forget about the problem - but I don't wanna hide it, sugar-coat it. Its something thats true, won't go away until Ive got my head round it.
So Ive spent time just thinking, talking to myself. Even just sitting on my bed with Chester, chatting. Hes a good listener and real help!
Looking at him now, I can see the fear in his eyes (a bang has just gone off down the road - so he ran up to my room).
The fear reminds me of me. You probably won't understand this because its from the depth of my mind. The fear reminds me of my love. Maybe sometimes I feel fear when loved. Chesters fallen asleep now, but it reminds me how much we can forget about things and just go for whats sugar-coated, the easiest thing to say or do.
Looking out the window now, looking at the stars. Ive been doing a lot of star gaizing recently, everytime I look at the starts I feel like someone is pulling my heart into my mouth. I feel like Im at home when gaizing at the stars, so comfortable, homely. Can I only feel that looking at the stars? Their twinkling lights shimmer in my eyes, I don't have the need to stop looking. Maybe Im searching for more than I have now. Am I not satisified? Maybe Ive seen more to life in the past, like it and now want more. Or maybe Im just being me.
Let it go
Daisy, Let it go
Open up your fist
This fallen World
Doesn't hold you interest
It doesn't hold your soul
Daisy, Let it go
Sunshinex
posted by MissHarwood @ 22:09
7 Comments:
mabey ur doing some "soul serching" or something.
its bad to get caught up in the future but its ok to look back, just remember about the here and now.
got 2 lv u nd leave u
bi xxx
why are your posts so depressing.i think u go looking for attention do you?
i recon i no who that anon was!
You cant blame other people for being nosey about you and hat when u put notices up like that on Sunday morning. Its not even a joke anymore you 2 have gona way too far! sorry guys but u have to be discreet about this sort of stuff. People have already started to get the wrong side of this and it just looks weird. Dont get annoyed when people talk about it behind your backs you bring it on yourself.
Oh grow up!!!! Its a joke...TAKE THE JOKE!
wheres your sense on humour?
Look all you people its just so stupid. why react about it anyway? so what if they like each other and I am not saying that they do! But what is it to you? I mean come on it was a notice and if you want to have a go then have a go at all the impact team including me. We did that because we thought it would be funny.. Obviously you guys or whoever the anon is, is getting all shitty about it (excuse my french!) but you need to grow up.. Why are you all trying to make something big out of something so innocent.
Its not as if people are in your love life. Is there a crime to like someone? Guys you need to deal with yourself and get on with life. Your lives are not at all rapped around Hat or Sam.. If it is then I feel very sorry for you..
Don't let jealousy get in the way of your lives.. Its just gonna eat you up and destroy relationships..
My advice to you all is mind your own business!
Love always B x
thanks B and Tori! Friends are suppose to support us, no go all anonymous on us. Its a joke, but even so, its made me see what real friends are
Yeh, they were genius ay?! Loved them...
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