Revelation through thinking
Negative.
Or Positivie.
Do I go down the route of how rubbish I've been recently.
Or how God just inspires me sometimes.
Hmmm.
Well, I've got until 2Am when they will be an 'Scheduled outage'.
I do plan to be asleep by then.
I'm off in September. God brought that one round quickly. Too quickly for my liking really. As GaryLee says he ambushed me. Hull, one of the ugliest towns - explain the people who have never been there. Well, Scarborough really.
Looking around my room now I'm wondering how much stuff I will actually be able to take with me. Half of it though I don't even use. I've probably only ever got it because I was trying to be someone else.
I remember always trying to loose weight compared to my best friend when I was younger. She seemed...perfect. Skinny, long nails, long blonde hair. I was the opposite. Chubby, bit my nails and had short brown hair. I'm still not her, but I know God loves me for who I am...and theres no harm in trying to stop habits.
I remember the multiple times copying things that guys I liked did.
Watching a WHOLE rugby match because he was into rugby - I didn't have a clue how it worked.
Inviting him round just to play playstation...when I hated it. It was our only connection...it was a lie.
Wrapping a toy gun up in toilet paper when it was 2 against 1 (him and his best mate against me.) and tried to make them believe I'd made a gun out of toilet paper. Didn't worked.
Trying to seem more 'technical' because he was so amazing at it all.
Wearing a sweat band halfway up my arm just because he did. Then when I was quizzed about it...said 'thats how I normally wear it.' I've always hated sweat bands.
Stopped wearing a certain type of shoes because he doesn't like them.
The different words from his country. Just sounded ridiculous in my accent!
Why is it that we need other people to make us see what we want to be?
I've just realised that other peole have such a big impact on me...how much of an impact do I have on other people?
So sad it's not all good.
posted by MissHarwood @ 00:33
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